One of the biggest changes I faced when I started going to the gym was in my mental health. Like many of us, I grew up struggling with body image, which affected my happiness and made it harder for me to connect with others and fully enjoy life. Going back to the gym—or starting for the first time—can feel overwhelming, not just physically but mentally. The pressure to perform and the constant comparisons, especially in the age of social media, can be exhausting. But fitness should be part of your self-care routine, not a stressor. I want to make mental health a central part of the conversation when it comes to the gym and share some tips for taking care of yourself as you change your routine.
Be Patient with Yourself
The first step when starting a new routine is to be patient with yourself. We’re often our own harshest critics. We extend grace to others but forget to give it to ourselves. When I started at 287 pounds, I didn’t allow myself room to learn. I expected to perform at the same level as people who had been training for years. By not giving myself the grace to learn from my coaches, I put myself—and others—at risk for injury. After a shoulder and knee surgery, I finally understood the importance of easing into a program and learning what your body can do and what it needs time to adapt to. For some, just showing up at the gym on the first day is a victory. When I worked at a corporate gym, I met countless people whose first visit was just to “check it out.” Going from no routine to committed athlete overnight is unrealistic. If stepping into the gym for the first time feels intimidating, remember that’s completely normal.
Before You Commit to Something, Commit to Yourself
The second mental health tip is simple: just show up. You don’t owe anyone else anything while you’re there. Everyone is committed to their own goals, and the truth is, they’re too focused on themselves to care about what you’re doing. It might sound harsh, but it’s the reality. People aren’t watching you—whether you forgot to brush your hair or aren’t wearing expensive, name-brand clothes. The most insecure people I’ve met in the gym are bodybuilders, constantly seeking external validation. So walk into the gym knowing you have just as much right to be there as anyone else.
The fear of being judged often comes from our desire to fit in, but think of the most confident, well-liked people you know. They’ve probably adopted this mentality: You are the most important voice in your life. They’re not worried about what others think, because the truth is, most people aren’t thinking about you at all (unless you’re really making a scene—then you might need a trainer!). On days when you feel like everyone’s watching or judging, put on your headphones, blast your favorite song, and focus on what makes you happy. List those things if you have to. Repeat your goals, over and over. Do whatever it takes to keep your mind centered on yourself and not others. This is your journey—don’t let anyone else dictate it for you.
Stop the Scroll: Social Media Shows the Best, Not Reality
I constantly hear people using social media as a benchmark for how life should be. But the truth is, social media presents a carefully crafted version of ourselves. No content creator is showing the whole picture—I don’t, and I don’t know anyone who does. We don’t see the hours a model spends in hair and makeup, or the countless edits from a Photoshop team. We don’t see the 10,000 shots it took to get that one “perfect” image. So, stop using social media to measure your own life—it’s all a façade.
Kim does not look like her instagram photos. That person who seems to travel year-round might be struggling to maintain relationships. The one who just bought a million-dollar home could be drowning in debt, a single missed paycheck away from losing it all. You know what’s real and true in your life, so let that truth apply to others, too. We don’t know the struggles others face. By showing up for yourself, you give yourself the space to also show up for others.
Learning to love yourself will teach you how to love others. Social media is a great tool for connection, but it can also be a barrier to happiness. Don’t let the age of social media keep you from enjoying what you love. Most of what we see online is carefully curated to project an ideal image. Remember that reality is much messier—and that’s okay.
Find Your People, and Focus on Small Wins
We’ve all heard the saying, it takes a village to raise a child, but why does that need for connection stop when we become adults? The truth is, we never stop craving support and belonging, no matter our age. And when it comes to taking care of our mental health, especially while navigating challenges like getting back to the gym or dealing with personal setbacks, having the right people in your corner is everything.
This tip is simple but powerful: find the people who celebrate you for who you are, mistakes and all. These are the people who cheer for your small wins and stand by you through your struggles. They don’t judge you when you falter, and they’re not concerned with how perfect you are. They see you and they want you to win.
Finding these people can take time, and they aren’t always easy to find. I’ve only found a few in my life, but those people are everything to me. When my dad passed away, my best friend showed up at my door within minutes, leaving a holiday party to be there with me as I received the worst news of my life. She knew before I did. This kind of support showed me that no matter what happens, I’m not alone—because my people are with me, always.
You don’t need many people in your life to feel this way—just a few who love you unconditionally. A therapist once gave me a simple but impactful tip: if you’re struggling, text three people who will respond with Good morning, I love you, and see how it makes you feel. Whenever I’m having a tough time, I send that text to five people, and without fail, I receive back more than just I love you. Some share photos of their kids or pets to make me smile, others send videos to make me laugh, and all of them remind me that they are there for me, no matter what. These are the people cheering me on, making the tough days a little easier.
Life is hard. It’s unfair, uncomfortable, and messy. But having even just a few people in your corner makes all the difference. When you’re going back to the gym, dealing with personal setbacks, or just navigating life, lean on your people and celebrate every small win together. They’ll remind you that you’re never truly alone in this journey.
A Lifelong Journey of Growth
Hopefully, this is a lifelong journey for you, one where you constantly evolve and learn about yourself. Mental health is just one aspect of overall well-being, but it’s critical. In the Western world, mental health remains a major taboo topic, yet everyone is struggling with something. The empathy we extend to others is just as important to extend to ourselves. We aren’t perfect, and expecting perfection only sets us up for disappointment.
Instead, focus on the things that make you happy and the things you can control, and let life handle the rest. When you commit to yourself, do it fully. This is the most important relationship you will ever have.
Love you!
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